Living "On the Fly"

We are still in bed when my husband rolls over and mentions how great it would be to check out this new hiking trail he heard people talking about the other day. A smile crosses my face as I stretch my arms, and snuggle against my pillow.
A vision starts to formulate in my mind. I am standing next to our Land Rover (Okay, we have a Ford Explorer but it is a good affirmation) sporting one of those Thelma and Louise toward the end of the movie tans (right before the over the cliff stunt). I am dressed in multi-pocketed khaki shorts with a shirt slightly wrinkled and casually layered over a tank top. My belt is the kind of thick dark brown belts people wear when adventure is just around the corner or they might have to swing from a vine or wrestle a cobra or two. The backpack slung over my shoulder is thick tan canvass with some marks on the outside from years of wilderness survival. I am smiling and feeling confident as I set out on the trail, hearing the quiet sounds of nature. . .
“Honey, honey are you going back to sleep? Because I say we just throw a few things in the car and go.”
Poof! Pfffffft! The image is gone.
“Mom, Daddy said we are going on an exploring hike, if you say yes. Can we please? Can we please, Can we, because if we can I want to wear my peace shirt again because I haven’t worn it since yesterday . . .”
Reality has reared its head.
“Mom, this one doesn’t have any bears right? Because the last time, remember, we saw those signs to watch out for bears.”
I can feel the pull of inertia to move forward and open my eyes but I am resisting, thinking about my husband’s casual and carefree mention of “throw a few things in the car and go.” I come to the realization that the comment applies to the teenagers, college aged kids and childless families. That’s about it. I slowly peep one eye open squinting at the bright light in the room.

To pull everything and everyone together and get on the trail at a decent time will still take a small mini-whirlwind of preparation. And yes, as I always must throw in, I am an organizer so as a family we are starting off in good shape. I also fully realize at this stage of life our hike will be about as close to my previous vision as a Twinkie being sold at Whole Foods.
I prop up on one elbow, “I challenge you to see how quickly you can get everything together. I think 40-45 minutes at least” My husband laughed, “Are you serious? Piece of cake, in fact I can get everything done in 15 minutes flat.”
“You are on ~ the loser makes dinner and cleans up”
My husband darts out of bed like a Super bowl game is about to start and sets the kitchen timer. I hear cabinets opening and shutting, a few thuds (hmmm) and some rustling. “Honey, where is the . . . never mind.”
I casually get dressed, get the kids dressed and fed in 15 minutes and wait for the buzzer. It rings. My husband enters the kitchen exhibiting rapid breathing and flushed skin tones. He said, “No problem at all, we are packed and ready to go in exactly 15 minutes (he grabs the corner of the counter for support) the man pulls it off!” Not so fast I announce. “I need to inspect before full credit can given to the winner.”
I go into the garage and noticed a neat pile of dog leashes, water bowls, bug repelient, my son’s backpack, water bottles for everyone and snacks. “Ahhh, Haaaa where are the hats?”
“No way the hats are being put on and worn in the transition from the house to the car so they don’t need to be packed” I shake my head, “Pretty shaky logic but I will let it go, but just realize in an official contest you would have been voted off the Island.”
I look around to survey one more time. “Sunscreen!”I jump around a little. “I see no sunscreen” My husband grabs it out of the outdoor bin and says “Sunscreen is to be applied at home before the actual hike so we don’t get blinded by the sun when we apply it” I shake my head. “Sad, sad logic. You my friend are making dinner and cleaning up while I bask in my winning glory.” He laughs, “I give in but am filing a complaint for faulty contest guidelines”


Here are some ways I have gotten our family closer to “living on the fly”, even though right now we are still living a little off the floor:

1. Pre-pack bags designated for specific activities: buy extra sunscreen and bug repellent so no transferring is needed. Just grab one bag and go. For example, swimming bags, school bags and hiking bags.

2. Have snack food divided into smaller bags: If snack food is already together it is less of a hassle to get it all out and cuts down on preparation time. Also, in case of emergencies these are nice to have on hand.

3. Pack extra clothing to layer: use a small crate or basket to keep extra jackets and hats. Locate it in the back of the car or trunk so you have pieced of mind if the weather changes.

4. Hang hooks in the garage or closet: locate the hooks or bins close to the door so bags or backpacks are easy to get to.

5. Keep extra dog supplies in the car: storing extra log leashes and plastic bags in the back of your car or trunk is an easy way to not have to worry about having them packed.

Refreshing Summer Gardening

Today is going to be a great day! As usual it is the time of year to get the Ming Tang in our house in optimal shape so prosperity and wealth are drawn into our home! (Ming Tang is the feng shui term for the front entry of the home and it is important to have it in good shape because it sends a message to the universe about the condition of your home and finances) This is important because I am a feng shui consultant, so if my ming tang looks crappy it shows I think all the principles are hogwash. Which by the way I don’t and is why I am dressed in gardening attire ready to head out the door to start on the front yard before it turns into a jungle and good chi is nowhere to be found.

I walk downstairs as my husband is pouring cereal in a bowl for our son.
“I”m off to conquer our front yard.”
He shakes his head “Good luck.”
I put on my gardening gloves, raise my arms high, and take a deep dramatic breath “Thank you for this wonderful morning.”

My husband looks at me chuckling “Oh yeah it is that Ming-a-ling thing about the front of our house we have to do each year or we will have only bread and water and our cabinets will be bare and we will starve to death.”

“Yep, that’s right and just for the record it is Ming Tang” (He plays a good game but he is the first one on board with the whole prosperity thing. He gets all freaked out if his Chinese coins in his wallet are missing).

My husband asks if I want some help.
I shake my head from side to side smiling, “No thanks I am just going to reconnect with the soil and become one with the earth.” I think to myself, no offense to my husband but his idea of gardening is to see how fast we can pluck out the weeds while grumbling about how he can’t believe they have multiplied this year even more than last. Then inevitably it turns into a HOA blasting session. No thanks! This is a time for inner peace and restoration.

I get outside, set my glass of green tea by the garden and survey the weed scene. Good, there is quite a few. I was hoping for this because pulling weeds is supposed to reduce stress and have long lasting therapeutic effects on the body. I situate myself and start removing some of the bigger weeds. I feel relaxed and purposeful. A slight breeze starts up and the smell of fresh cut grass prickles my senses. How wonderful. I shift my legs and stretch to reach a few more medium sized leaves. Ouch, I now have some microscopic thorn like bristles in my fingers. Some of these weeds are harder to get out than I thought. I go into the garage for some gloves. Okay, I find a new spot and sit down but the sun is coming in at a strong angle and I am starting to get hot and a little itchy. I turn my back to block the sun and reach for a few more weeds.
Twenty weeds later, the small of my back is starting to ache a little so I take some zen-restoring breaths. I feel better but my left leg is going numb. I decide I need to stretch to get the chi in my whole body moving. I get up and steady myself. As I get up I think to myself, are black floating spots in the main field of vision normal?

I need hydration. I reach for my tea and notice two brown ants floating on my cubes. Yuck! I throw out the tea and decide to switch it up a bit. The garden needed soil and mulch. I walk in the garage, spot the large bag of soil and put my hands on the top to move it closer to the gardening area. Yikes, I pull on the bag and am instantly propelled back towards it, so I put my palm on the bag to steady myself. Of course, now I remember telling my husband, “Get the biggest bag they have” This is actually a good thing I think. Making trips back and forth will give me more hands on soil contact increasing my exposure to therapeutic minerals.
I locate an empty dog-water bowl and start carrying bowls back and forth sprinkling the new soil lightly smoothing it ceremoniously with my fingers. I have read many times this is the time to let my thoughts become one with the earth so I let my mind go, meditating only on the simple actions to stay in the moment. I am feeling it and start to come up with my mantra “How wonderful it is to be in the beauty of nature creating . . . “
“Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom”
“What?”
“You know that plate of brownies you made special-well you know who tied his train car to the wrap and pulled the whole plate on the floor. Then Tiago stepped on them and then ate most of the before daddy picked them up”

Great, but I was determined not going to let this spoil my time. I wiped my brow and tried emergency self talk-(just take a deep breath and let it out slowly, nobody was hurt and material things can be fixed.) Better- In a shaky voice I manage to say, “Okay, I will be in in a little bit just tell him to play with his own toys away from the kitchen”

I survey the garden again. Wow, I thought I was covering more area. I realize with my current soil to bowl ratio I will be done in about 3 days if I take no breaks. I locate a bucket on the shelf and grab it. The only thoughts coursing through my mind now are “how many buckets will it take to fill in this cotton-pickin garden” I kneel down to spread out the dirt and manage to get it at least most of it covered. I attempt to stand again and my back wants no part of it. The thought does occur to me that I might not ever stand up straight again.

Now I realize I need a short break and emergency hydration.

My husband, stretched out watching a basketball game with a toddler on his stomach, looks over at me and says “Ooooo, your face is really red, is it that hot out there? And why are you walking like that?”
I attempt to straighten out my back from my stooped over state but my body is resisting. I am definitely that kind of all over sore that just kind of keeps moving around.

“I am just in for a short break and a refill” I head for the refrigerator trying to sound casual and up-beat. “Hey, what time is it anyway?” I left my watch inside so I didn’t disturb the natural rhythm and bonding of my body with nature as I created my ming tang masterpiece.

My husband laughs “You have been at it for about 40 minutes”
I am truly astounded. I stop mid-water refill and just stare at him. “Are you sure? Are the batteries in the clock working right?
He looks at me, “Yep, you know honey, it is a lot easier to pull the weeds after it rains” I just stare back.

“In Denver that is about twice a year, by that time prosperity would have past us by without a second glance.”

For the sake of our family I get my tea refill and muster up the courage and head outside again.




Tips

1.Keep Your Ming Tang in Optimal Shape-It is important to keep the area in front of your home looking good. Your entryway sends a message to the universe about how you are doing financially. Dried plants in old pots and gardens full of weeds and dead plants send a message that you are on skid row. Plant or put brightly colored red, orange or yellow flowers in pots by your front door.


2.Set up Optimal Gardening Time- Remember as it gets hotter and hotter outside it is best to schedule time in the morning or dusk to do gardening. Go as long as you can keeping the experience a positive one. When your back starts to hurt or you just aren’t into it-stop and pick another time. Gardening is very therapeutic and the benefits are great. Choose your time wisely!


3.Choose Rounded Materials-When you are deciding what to use in your front yard-keep your rocks round and smooth and your pathways circular or wavy. Good energy circulates better with round edges.

MANSPACE

I am on my way down to my husband’s home office to ask him a question. This is very tricky for me because it is zoned “man space” (definition: some crazy half-cocked universal rule to keep marriages in tack where the woman must allow the man some of his own space to manage on his own according to his own time clock--light dusting allowed sometimes) I pride myself on encouraging him to have his own space since he does such a great job helping me keep up the rest of the house. It is just those piles of newspapers that after a week start to resemble . . . stop . . . take a deep breath.
I am getting geared up to go in but I know I must set myself up for success first. I have to repeat my mantra, “Keep your eyes focused on his face, keep your eyes focused on his face” Even the slightest waver and I knew I would get a glimpse of something odd and would be tortured for the rest of the day.
I open the door, “Hey, Dan and Ava are having a party on Sunday for Cole
(“How can he keep it so dark in here . . . . if he would just open . . . . no keep your eyes on his face. . . but if we rearranged his desk . . . no, keep eye contact”) I am already starting to waver and I know I have to get out quick.
“So, we are free Sunday afternoon right, for the party?” I know he is starting to see my effort not to look around because my eyes are starting to water and twitch. I have reached all of my focusing capacity. I am starting to look unnatural and I know it. So I smile and my left eye catches the glimpse of a tumbler of tea. (Didn’t I pour him that iced green tea three days ago?) I start to naturally lurch forward. I have to stop myself and take a few steps back.
My husband is on to me, “What are you looking at?” He looks around as if to see the shriveling plant for the first time. I scratch the side of my neck for much needed distraction. “Nothing, I just wanted to know . . . “ (I spot a pile of what I think is gym shorts, socks and a paper bag-what is this the laundry room now?) I have to go now or it is all over. My cells are prickling all over but I just need to see if the feng shui prosperity turtle I put in his SE corner is still in the right spot. I see it and it is. Good-he definitely needs it in here.

Finally, he says “Yeah, I think our schedule is clear tell them it will work”
“Great” I shut the door to restore my breathing and sanity.

The most important thing to remember is compromise no matter how painful (it should only be semi-painful) for the other person. Keep this in mind:

Everyone Needs Their Own Space:
Let the other person express themselves and let go a little in their private area. It might drive you a little crazy but it is important. Schedule a cleaning twice a month for the whole house and at least then this area can always remain fresh.

Create Organizing Solutions that Fit Each Person:
My husband loves the beach so we have a nautical theme in his office. A whitewashed, rustic cabinet hold books and canvass covered cd holder keeps office supplies in one place.

Paint Together:
A fresh coat of paint makes a space look better and feel fresher. People tend to take better care of an area that looks better.

BBQ Garbanzo Bean Pizza

“What exactly is this?” My husband asked staring at our dinner.
“Oh, just a new thing I came up with”
“It looks like some funky pizza. Wait a second; are those garbanzo beans on top?”
I smiled and nodded. I always noticed June Cleaver did this a lot and Beav, Wally and Ward were was always happy with the meal.
“I thought you were sick of the same old thing, so we are trying something new.”
“Is this all we had to make?
I was losing my game face. It had been a long day. “Pretty much, but look at all the fiber potential”
He was opening and shutting cabinets perplexed “What happened to the twenty bags of groceries I helped you carry in the night before last?”
Good question I thought.
I silently cursed myself for coming up with this great system of switching off making dinner during the week and then having one “forge night” which meant we would fend for ourselves and have sandwiches or something edible but quick. On my husband’s nights he seemed to effortlessly pull things out of some magic pantry and I was coming up with a college fraternity prank meals.

I too was a little perplexed about all of the shopping bags- I remembered the grocery cart felt like I was pushing around several bowling balls and the clerk had to keep wrapping the receipt around his arm so it didn’t spiral out of control. How is it possible not to have the right ingredients for a meal?
Thinking back, I guess I had purchased some things we needed but that did not necessarily go together. Yep, (I was getting a visual) laundry detergent, organic milk, pepper and Scotch Guard come to mind. Things were starting to make sense as I watched a garbanzo bean roll off on the floor as my husband sampled the pizza. His face contorted.
Pre-second kid I had read through some recipes on a Saturday or Sunday and put some meal ideas together. I had a plan back then and we always had something that was edible and really good. Like everyone I had those days like the bad substitution debacle (butter for olive oil) which turned the sweet potato fries into a pile of forest twigs. Other than that things had been good.
I took out my Shopping/Meal Planner Sheet and set it on the counter. Things were about to change for the better. On Sunday’s we were going to all discuss ideas for the week and put a list together.
That night the whole family continued to talk about our new plan, in the car, on our way out to dinner!

1. Use a shopping/meal planning guide each week to reduce stress throughout the week. Download free at chiforchange.com
2. Keep a magnetic dry erase board or notepad next to the refrigerator for items needed
3. Once a month restock basics like flour, sugar, foil, etc.

Take Stock in the Natural

I knew our family needed to shake things up a little, get some fresh air and enjoy a new experience. The stock show was in town and I was hoping for a festival like atmosphere filled with zesty BBQ, cows, sheep, horses and the whole down home shebang. I was a stock show neophyte but I had high hopes that it would be good for the whole family to get out and be around some natural elements.
After a harrowing bus ride from our parking to the event (I kept checking to see if the driver was taking sips off of a flask) we made it. Part of the show was inside and part was outside. This was great we petted pigs, goats, horses and cows. The kids enjoyed pony rides, train rides and feeding animals. We trudged happily through the small arena and watched the cows and horsed get washed, blow dried and brushed.
Then we went to the outside area and sat in the sun letting the rays soak in our skin. They had a giant sheep arena next to a huge pile of natural looking wood chips for the kids to run and jump on. They were having a ball running up and rolling on the hill. The rustic smell from the big BBQ pits filled the air. It was the perfect day so far.
“M’am, uh excuse me but we just shoveled that bedding hay from the cow’s stalls and are waiting for it to be moved. I don’t think it is a great idea for the kids to play in it and all” Color drained from my face as I watched my 4 year old take the handful she had mid-air and deposit on top of my son’s head. I mean in all honestly, it didn’t look like hay. Where was the “No playing” sign? The other mothers grabbed their kids and scattered like scared rabbits.
I got the kids out and tried to dust them off but it was no use the stuff just stuck. My mother came around the corner just then with a corn dog for the kids. “You got them a greasy corn dog?” She said defensively, “Oh this is not a corn dog, it is just cheese inside.” Oh, that makes me feel better. My kids probably wouldn’t eat it anyway. I was wrong. The gobble it down like they hadn’t eaten in ten years. As we finished piled high plates of brisket, chicken and corn a funnel cake appeared. Nobody owned up to the purchase but it was gone so quick I thought it was an apparition. I caught a glimpse pieces of beaten up fruit and organic snacks in my diaper bag and I knew they would not make an appearance today-what was the point.
I looked surveyed the scene. It was warm and sunny. After the manure rolling and artery clogging feast everyone was relaxed and laughing. I gave up trying to pick the bits of (I am not even sure what) out of my daughters hair and forehead when a horse named Molly decided to sneeze when my daughter was petting her mane. Today, there had been no loads of laundry, no tasks crossed off the “to do” list or a lot accomplished. It was a day that renewed our spirit.
This outing really made me think about how much exposure to natural elements we have on a daily basis. How many things in our home are made up of synthetic materials and how much time, if ever, do we spend time re-connecting with the earth.

1. Plastic is everywhere especially in children’s toys! (side note: The use of toxic plastic-based chemicals in toys called Bisphenol A, or BPA for short. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) sets the “safe” level for this toxin but scientists have concerns. Balance plastic with natural materials like wood, stone, clay or anything found in nature. Good examples are clay pots used to store toys or art supplies, wood shelving or crates.

2. Any chance you have to expose your children to natural elements-do it. Set up what I call “Unstructured play-dates” and just let kids hang out in an open natural environment.

3. Here is a good feng shui tip to remember: when you are decorating bring nature inside. For example, the colors blue and green are fabulous for children because they are relaxing. Plants and animals are also good for chi flow in children’s rooms.

Armoires and Sour Grapes

I just stared perplexed as my husband paced back and forth visibly agitated. It was exactly 12 minutes into the new armoire move. He obviously did not feel the post-move waves of euphoria coursing through his body like I did. “What is it?” I asked. He was gesturing wildly (he was not by character a wild gesturer)

“I spend 85% of my day in the basement (he works from home) and now it looks like a college throw-together” My excitement now resembled a deflated beach ball. He went on, “And frankly it looks a little depressing.” I never realized he liked the armoire where it was I just thought he didn’t want to do the physical labor. The chi in the room was now flowing like molasses.

I shifted into fix-it mode. “Let’s go downstairs and evaluate” We walked downstairs and looked at the space. Okay, he might have a teensy point, it was a little sparse.
“What if we move that antique chest from the bathroom “He looked at me like I had five heads, “The small one your Grandpa bought at that flea market?” I shifted from one foot to the other. “It would probably break into firewood when we put the T.V. on top of it.” He had a point.
“What about the bookshelf in the . . . “ He cut me off, “Too skinny, it could topple over and crush a kid or dog.” Probably true.

“Well if we can’t find anything we can just move it back.” His eyes became saucer-like. “Not after all that, are you kidding” I was beginning to panic and solutions were becoming thin. All of the sudden when no answer was in sight, words were uttered that changed everything. He scratched his head “We just might need to buy a new piece of furniture.” Was it my imagination or did the room just get visibly lighter. I hadn’t even thought about that solution. I remained calm but on the inside possibilities were surfacing quickly. I was already mentally surfing Craig’s List and blocking out possible shopping time. Now this was a win-win situation for everyone. Whew! I took a deep breath reminding myself that I would definitely handle things differently in the future.


Tips to remember:

1. Measure Your Space:
Measure and then use masking tape to mark out the proportions of the piece of furniture you want to move. Sometimes a sheet taped from ceiling will help you see the density of the object and how it will look with other furniture.

2. Visualize Color and Texture
According to feng shui principles you want to have an even amount of dark (yin) and light (yang) objects to balance the room. If you are unsure then draw a model a simple model of the room using squares and circles. Using a pencil shade the dark pieces and leave the light ones alone. Count and see if you have balance. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Also, make sure the texture or pattern does not clash with other items in the room.

3. Get Affirmation
Make sure spouses, boyfriends, parents, roommates and dogs etc. are in agreement about the furniture move. It is important in feng shui because negative energy can result if anyone is unhappy.

Redecorating with Sirloin Steak

After we took our Christmas tree down this year I realized what a large hole it made in our living room. The pine shelf we had just didn’t look right anymore, it seemed cold. It was then the idea came to me. The armoire from downstairs would add warmth and stability to the room, it was the focal point magazines talk about, the “wow” piece that makes the room and it was just hiding one floor below. I raced downstairs with a tape measure-perfect fit. I clapped my hands practically giddy by now. How had I gone this long without knowing that this piece belonged in that very place? I was smiling ear to ear when my husband walked in the room, “What are you so happy about?” he asked. I took his arm so he could get the full effect, “I just realized how magnificent that pine armoire would look in this room.”
His face contorted and his eyes enlarged, “You mean the 300 lbs one downstairs? The one that took four movers to get inside?” He inhaled deeply and surprisingly loud and when the air came out it make the front pieces of his hair blow upward.
Obviously, he was not looking at the bigger picture. He did not see the transformation it would make and it cost nothing!
This was a delicate situation. “Well, what if we just asked your friend Ben to help and we could all shimmy it up the stairs on a piece of carpet or something.” He was scratching his head. “We can ask but it won’t be easy. Besides I think the bookshelf looks fine.” He exited the room quickly. Smart man.
Day Two
I am not really obsessed at this point. It is just every time I walk by the “perfect spot” I get anxious. I have started to visualize the armoire there; supposedly this sends a message to the universe helping it materialize. So far, nothing.

Day Four
Okay, I am a little obsessed. My chi feels clogged and I am getting wrinkle lines around my eyes from excessive visualizing. I realized I needed a plan. I need to bring it up again and make it happen! Just then my husband comes around the corner “Nothing today is going right, can’t my customers realize that people can’t work 24 hours a day” I nod with him and sigh. Not the day.
Day Six
I have now rearranged, purged, labeled, polished and made folders for the New Year. I am exhausted and still no armoire move. Then, from somewhere a glint of hope shines through. I am an educated, healthy woman with many solutions in her back pocket. I am a problem solver. I can figure this out. There was that skinny boy next door. We could tie a rope around the base (similar to a rancher’s lasso), tip it on the ottoman and wheel it to the stairs . . . here is where the plan unravels. I was stuck at the base of the stairs with no solution. Arrrgg!

Day Ten
It is not humanly possible to last another day from this mental torture. Now, I stack laundry piles higher as I walk by just to not have to look at the “perfect armoire-less spot.” I invent time sensitive errands. Finally, on my way home from purchasing flax seed capsules the answer comes like a warm ray of welcoming light . . . food bribery! I simply marched down to my husband’s office and stated confidently, “Can you call Ben, tell him we will make him a steak dinner on Saturday if he helps us with a little furniture move.” Now I do know this much- you can judge the food reward by the size of item you are moving. This was not a blueberry muffin move this was a steak move.

Day of the Move
Yippee! I leap out of bed humming and sashaying around the house. “Omelets for everyone” I announce happily. I am pouring the egg mixture in the pan when my husband walks in, “Man, it will be great to get this thing moved and not to have to move it ever again until we move” I stopped mid-spatula. He kissed the top on my head “I am glad you have thought this through and are absolutely sure” I falter a little but manage a good omelets flip. Of course I was sure. I mean sure I was sure. But why was I bothered a little and why were his words “absolutely sure” thundering through my head like a heard of cattle. I thought back, there was that focal point thing and needing the “wow” for the room. I was starting to feel better now. Yes, this was right. I abandon my spatula and peeked my head around the corner hoping to see a characterless hole in the room. Unfortunately, the hole doesn’t look that bad today for some reason. He just made it sound so permanent, like it would be nailed to the floor for years. That would make anyone hyperventilate. No, I was going to be brave and do this. This was going to work. I swallowed my panic and enthusiastically delivered the eggs on each plate. My kids eyed me suspiciously of course they did not buy this June Cleaver like behavior.
Three men, a little cursing, brow mopping, elbow banging, wall scuffing, heavy breathing and the armoire was in place. I stepped back and it just looked great. It was perfect! So I thought. . .